Tasty? not really. Today was closer to a dull meal than a tasty one. Not because the meal itself wasn't good enough but because we didn't take the time to prepare it nicely and make it more appealing to us.
And like with this example, how many times in life we settle for less simply because we didn't take the time or the energy to make it better for ourselves? Kind of strange when we realise we're talking about what makes us happy but at the same time is something we can't be bothered with.
Yesterday we had a meeting with a gym manager who offered us a position within their club. I went with a very open attitude to take whatever was been offered even though I knew I wanted something different. Knew from the very beginning that I was not up for personal training anymore, I've done that before and feel like I've outgrown the position not because is less to me but because I'm different, have now a very different outlook in the world and myself.
Anyhow, I still went and received with gratitude what was been offered. They looked more keen to have me than me to accept them and that made me feel strange, I was not excited about this process. The idea of working there didn't tick all my boxes but still it was the only offer I had at the moment, the only real possibility to make some money out of it.
When I left the meeting, I felt like something within in me was missing, like loosing my spark. Walked down the street like robot and was in that moment when I looked around and saw that everybody was walking the same way. Automatons in dull mode. That image woke me up and realised that I was about to settle for less. At least less of what makes me happy and shine.
My mind began to wonder, I realised that I couldn't just say no to the offer. I was not prepared to shot down the flow of abundance by not taking the job just because I wanted something else.
So, how to be truthful to my feelings and at the same time go with the flow? This was a tricky one. I had no idea what to do and my mind was getting confused and clouded. So I took my hearts side and began to focus on my feelings. And my feelings were strong and well calibrated. Then, I looked for practical ways to let the gym manager know the job wasn't for me. I realised my credential were outdated and that I'm not longer the level I'm saying to be. This new circumstance became very useful and with this I decided to tell them that if they still want me I'm in but this is where I am right now. If for some reason they decide to overlook this new situation and still want me to join The Gym, then it means to me that there's something I need to do/learn or change there and I will take the job- still waiting for their answer.
In the meantime, now I can focus on what I really want and believe which are my classes, workshops and coaching sessions. I don't want to do anything else and if I have to for the money have to be something with a salary and not working for free like I was going to do at the gym.
Not knowing what I want makes me fearful and confused but knowing what I want and settling for less makes me angry and depressed. Now I'm getting to know my reactions when in different situations.
I'm not prepared for scraps and crumbles, my new me is ready to hit the high notes and take on the big stage. I now understand that little things may come my way probably to trigger fears about my big dreams or to keep me in my comfort zone but this time my mind got it wrong, I'm not settling for less and I'm aimed to reach the top of my mountain
xXx
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