First Steps - The Midas Touch

      Coming back to life in 2012 after 9 days in coma was in reality only the beginning, although it marked the moment of rebirth from a spiritual point of view. After that moment of death, I felt as if I had been learning everything about life all over again.
      However, the more I learn the more I need to let go of the old me. With it goes the fears, insecurities, sadness, angers, frustrations, likes and dislikes; and even the addictions that made my old life feel wrong. Yes, I was always addicted to something at one time or another; and one of my oldest and strongest addictions was the need to save Me from Myself.
      I used to think the reason for always wanting to kill myself was because there was something very toxic within me. Something powerful that was hidden and had the power to kill.

But from the moment of rebirth, a growing sense of security had emerged. Some kind of knowing; which has become stronger and stronger with time. The most important of 'knowings' is the discovery of many of my talents. One by one buoying up like red balloons kept underwater suddenly emerging to the surface. 

One of them, my ability to write which only measures to the talent of my speech. Talking about communicating the message which always links back to the source, no matter how far I stretch the words, I always come back to the beginning. Truly amazing how things wave together in service not only to me but to others. The talent feel pure, real, powerful and beautiful and most importantly, they serve a purpose. In my case, one of the purposes for my talent is: The discovery of talents in others. Offering "A Vision of Truth."

      When I talk to somebody I begin to explore the darkest corners of their existence, sometimes I do this automatically, it just happens as we talk. I'm always very interested in their dreams, childhood, relationships with family and environment; and from that starting point a story unveils itself and like magic and I see images in my mind and in my heart that began to take form. The form of that person's talent. 

      I know I'm hitting the right vibrational notes in their psyche and heart because you can see their eyes rolling back, as they begin to remember their dream. Some sort of spiritual orgasm happens. Their shoulders relax and a beautiful smile begins to show with big teeth that lighten up the darkest room. 

      It's a beautiful moment that they can feel, I don't need to convince anyone of anything or talk for hours. It normally takes around 33 minutes, one single session to make magic happen. Everyone can feel it deep in their gut as all the pieces began to fall into place. Then, of course comes the time for digestion. People need time off to adjust to the new light in their subconscious. Many changes occur in the meantime and the person could feel a bit overwhelmed with confusion that normally passes as he/she feels familiar with the new energy.

      People then face the challenge of letting go of old patterns of being; accepting the new frequencies, emotions and feelings; which by the way feel very good. Although letting go may not be that easy and they tend to run in circles trying to escape the agony of surrender; forgiving the people or situations that hurt them in the past, and choosing to forget the pain.

      After a period of adjustment which can last up to few months, depending their own addiction to pain, we then focus on exploring possibilities and answers to many of their questions. They remember their dream now, and they are hungry for success and ways to achieve those dreams, find practical and real solutions, disciplines, etcetera. This gives birth to my Coaching practice. Life-Coach and Talent Whisperer. Ha ha, (since nowadays everyone is a whisperer of something LOL)

      You see, this is a talent I can recognise in me. It gives me Value, Confidence, and Peace...not forgetting great enjoyment and satisfaction. I feel certain about the demand to find One's real purpose in this world. I also feel how people appreciate my services and I love to receive their gratitude in any way they can. I don't need to charge for my time, I don't need to make money. I instead give everything that IAM and leave my vaults open to receive all the abundance and prosperity in any form and shape, without judgement and with loads of gratitude. Right now, I have everything that I could possibly need, and little by little I begin to obtain also all that I want, as I keep working with my talents.

      I can be myself for the first time. That child that came to this world not knowing who or what it was, feeling alien among his own family is now part of a greater vision where everything turns to gold. Pretty much like the Midas touch.

      And this is where I am right now. In the moment I own my space and time, and I can see clearly into the future. With a mind and heart that trusts and serves. "I now take the first steps with security, confidence, and support from within and without into the future. I not longer crawl, now I walk."

www.emris333.co.uk

LoveAlways

x

333

EL SAGITARIO - The birth of a legend

I feel as if I need to record the recent events for future reference for its importance in the timeline of things.

Every month have had very powerful situations, events and revelations; however they, until now, only happened to me, in my head or my life. I have never been witness of much happening outside. Although I've received many letters and contacts on Facebook thanking me for the inspiration and motivation to make great changes in their lives; I never saw those achievements as mine, I actually was very surprised back then, when all this started, of the possible  connection between those people and I. 

November has been different, proving from the very beginning to be challenging and powerful. More than November I feel is thf energy of Scorpio, all began with it. Anyway, I don't want to get lost in memories and thoughts l, I just want to make a short recount of events. 

26 Oct, I celebrate my first come back to life, 7 years ago. I declare a new life and honour the death of the past one.

30 Oct, after a dark period of writers block, I produce my manifesto. I write: IAM THE LUMINESCENCE OF DARKNESS. This gives me the clarity of who IAM. For the first time in my life I accept and take full responsibility for my existence and actions. I feel regenerated.  

31 Oct, from weeks before I sensed also the possible death of identity in some form. I began to put attention to this day as a day when something about me will die. I can feel it. And that night I open my door and, welcome death.

1 Nov, my mothers birthday. I celebrate rebirth. There's a new psychic connection activated in my mind. I begin to believe more in what I feel and I feel a lot. 

11 Nov. I receive this message by text from my bro: At the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month, the thermostat will mark 11; 100 years of the beginning of an era. 

That same night I had a very vivid dream, this is what I told my bro about it: "I just woke up. Y Tuve el sueño más extraordinario que te puedes imaginar. En una forma muy real venían a visitarme unos seres del futuro y me decían que el tiempo a llegado para hacer contacto. Me enseñaban unos gráficos donde explicaban la historia de la humanidad y como empezó a enloquecer por avaricia y poder. Y se auto destruía. Me daban la opción de irme, pero me parecía más como si me quisieran llevar. En el sueño tuve por primera vez la sensación de sincronía. Me encontraba con gente de otros sueños y nos reconocíamos. Nos dábamos cuenta de que algo muy extraño estaba pasando. Y luego tu me envías este mensaje. Estoy temblando y cargando al mismo tiempo. En el sueño me decían que nos fuéramos ya, pero yo estaba confundido, no quería dejar a mi familia. Y decía que lo hiba a pensar, necesitaba dormir. En eso me acuesto y al dormirme despierto aquí."

- Everything begins to have a very magical feeling, I began to speak with clarity and intention. I believe in myself like I never did before. I imagined myself as Cesare Borgia, the prince. Conqueror and lover. This fills my heart with courage and adventure. I know I can do it, I can reach the highest mountain. However I know very well know, that at this point in time, I still need the blessing of the pope. 

12 Nov. my mother has an interview on radio for more than an hour. I listened for the first time becoming, taking the shape of the greatest teacher, mother and goddess, I've seen in my dreams since my awakening in 2007. For me meant a confirmation of her power and strength, giving me a confirmation of what I once saw in my mind, now I was been witness with my ears and eyes. I was over the moon. Because if that is now real, that meant that everything else I've seen in my mind, could also become very real. It was not only happening to me, now it was happening to my mother too and brothers. 

They, my brothers begin to contact me, telling me how alive they feel. Everything is kind if falling into place. One in surrender, the other in conquest. The lazy is becomes conqueror and the conqueror the conquered.

13 Nov. I meet online someone who means a lot to me. She is a journalist and activist in the alternative world of HIV. She is in pain, somehow I feel I can help. She accepts. We meet, we talk, we laugh. I feel like a prince giving a kiss of life to my queen. The dream BEGINS there, she feels better. She is back in her world, We are now a strong reality. 

14 Nov. I make contact with the late Robin Williams. And I go bananas. It's like living inside a movie. My life has become a dream, and my dream my life. We laugh, and gives me shit loads of information about myself, my family, friends and life. I realised many thing, I feel overwhelmed with so much, but I can take it and I want more. 

I began to channel more energy, and put myself into trance. I feel the colors of the rainbow filling my being with many lights. I see structures floating in the air.

I see millions of tiny bubbles, made of infinite parts of the Flower of Life, sacred geometry as air. Nothing is not nothing anymore is something. Everything changes for a moment. This forms in the air are made of a tiny, very pale blue, of metallic light. I could see it as if I were inside of oil and there were bubbles floating in the waters, not moving, just forming part. That was an amazing experience, that Robin made even greater. 

15 Nov. I contact professor Brian Cox, to talk about the theory of evolution and creation. Evidently he didn't contact me back. But I left a post on his website. What amazes me, is the confidence or madness to dare to talk to a scientist, professor in, I don't know, cosmology or shit like that. And have the arrogance or security to go and express my views and opinions, and ask for a conversation. 

16 Nov. My bros birthday. He is the one and only. I knew from days before we would have an amazing experience that day. I can't say much, everything I could say would not come closer to the experience of that day. I will only say, it was the Announcement. That day we were announced. 

Today is I think Tuesday the 18th. Yesterday I decided to go to Mexico for Xmas. My family paid for my ticket and I'm ready to leave for the first time the security of my cave. I feel like an animal in captivity suddenly free to be. The first steps feel shy and cautios. I'm sure very soon I'll begin to gallop.

Special thanks to:

- Akasha Kaur, mother and teacher.

- All my bros in soul and blood. Lis, my brother in soul. My perfect mirror. G and Y. 

- All the flowers in my garden: Diana, Nancy, Rossi.

- My protector: Edy the black cat.

- My Ancestors, all of them.

- My Angels, Lucifer, Alegria, Chamuel, Michael, Raphael, Metatron 

Thank you all, thank you always

Thank you I love you. 

LoveAlways x 333

❤️❤️❤️

El Rompecabezas

Hay veces en que las cosas de ponen demaciado locas aún para mi. Me encuentro justo en el momento donde el camino se ha revelado y ahora queda sólo tomar el primer paso. Pero no es tan sencillo como suena pues requiere de una confianza y fe absoluta en el proceso o siento que no tendría éxito en el projecto. Y puedo reconocer el momento de transición pues ya lo he experimentado antes, la diferencia esta vez es que estoy más seguro de lo que soy y deseo lograr. Una aventura de película pero en vida real. 

Así que tengo dos opciones:

OPCIÓN UNO: No creer en mi mismo y Esperar a que mi situación emociónal se manifieste en un estado enfermo físico y mental, por no haber escuchado mi intuición y dudar que tenga algún significado realista o importante. Y así  detenerme a la idea de hacer el ridículo y no hacer nada. 

OPCIÓN DOS: Aventarme como el Borraz y hacer todo lo que me he imaginado. Se que lo puedo hacer aunque no se que resultado tendrá. Será divertido e interesante pero entregaría toda mi sanidad al juicio del Colectivo. 

Tiene en mi opinión las 3 Rs:

1. Respeto a mi mismo

2. Respeto por todo ser vivo

3. Responsabilidad absoluta sobre todos mis actos.

En fin, obviamente no voy a esperar enfermarme para tener que levantarme desde las profundidades una vez más, donde encuentro la fuerza para levantarme y seguir caminando. Esta vez sólo tengo que creer ciegamente en mi mismo y completar el ROMPECABEZAS.

INVOCO LA LUZ DEL CRISTO INTERIOR YO SOY UN CANAL CLARO Y PERFECTO. LA LUZ ES MI GUÍA. 

LoveAlways x333

NO FEAR - A Black Moon Exorcist

 
  It was a sunny day in Greater London during the autumnal equinox of 2014. Mary was just coming back home from her early combat class. She loves training and feeling a strong body makes her life full of joy. Life that she would have to defend and love dearly if she wanted to survive one more night. Although by the time she left her class she had no idea of the challenge ahead.

- Her mobile sounds the ringtone of a voice call -

-Claire, is that you?

-No dumbass, it's me Mary. Wrong number. Are you high or what?

-I took an overdose of pills, antidepressants and the anxiety ones.

-Why?

-I'm too tired? 

-Tired of what girl?

-The struggle. I just can't....

With a silent sigh Carmen left the conversation and Mary rushed to her friend. Not knowing what to expect she expected nothing. She was only grateful to be able to be there for her sister.

-Dear, you need to look at yourself. It's not possible that you keep destroying yourself so horribly. You abuse yourself as much as you allow others to abuse you and you still wonder why it's such a struggle to survive. 

-You don't understand Mary, let me tell you. I've done the best I can, I just don't know what else to do.

-Ok, I get that. Mmmm, Let me show you what I've done to come out from where you are. Remember girlfriend, we met in the same darkness, we were covered with the same mud. So I know how it feels. But let me give you a reading, I brought my cards. Ok?

Carmen comes from the order of the Carmelites, nuns of deep devotion and selfless service. Even though she got kicked out early on the days when the flesh was young and the feelings tender, she still had the structured spirituality of an orthodox theologian who thinks spirit is hierarchy and love is gold. However always curious and always willing to bend the rules in order to satisfy that curiosity.
Mary, comes from the woods. Free and wild, without rules or laws. 

-Girl, listen. It says here you need to find the key to transcend your current limitation. This shit is killing you and it won't get any better. You need to learn your lesson or you will die, and let me tell you guuuurl, I've known this for a very long time and I never said anything for respect to your choices but now the cards are telling you the same thing and you ought to listen, man.

-What? what is it? What's the key?

-Trust. You need to learn to trust your intuition, find your true faith and your connection with your soul. Not by understanding somebody else's dogma but by creating your own. Is that clear?

With a childish bubbling, Carmen's began to talk but her words began to burst before they could make any sense. She just wanted to feel right, in control and since she has always known best, this was something she could controll with skills. Or so she thought.

-Listen Woman! Let me talk. You are dying and unless we change something deep within your psyche right away your struggle it's gonna get only more intense. You already tried therapy, they gave you all those pills. Do you want to loose everything else, your home, your freedom?

-What are you saying bitch?

-I'm saying you are in danger of drowning and I'm throwing you a lifeline. Listen, I want us to try something different. I propose a  game. 3 minutes in silence, looking into each other's eyes. Let us share the place without secrets. Let us reveal each other's sacred archives, with the files that hold our records, in order to know who we truly are and how best to use our abilities and strengths, for our highest benefit and the highest benefit of all.

-Shut up! That's witchcraft. You are possessed by evil. You think you're god and can play with fire, but you're nothing, I know who you are and you're not better than me. I've got two master degrees, I know a lot better than following some stupid mambo-jambo.  You're not going to tempt me into your trap. 

-I'm not asking to follow ME, I'm asking you to follow your intuition and feel the possibility for a transformation within you that could manifest and benefit your life and the life of everything that surrounds you. I'm asking you to feel real, powerful and authentic.

-NO

-Why not?

-No, No, No. Simply NO

-Ok, as you wish. But tell me what are you feeling right now? Are you aware of the synchronicities? Do you hear the music in the background talking to you? Do you see the messages from within your head? Are you afraid? 

...And with that final question Mary closed her reading. A demon had been unleashed and it feared for her life. Carmen showed no weakness, her pride made her stand strong facing the enemy, in this case, the enemy was the possibility of realising a different approach to spirituality, where enlightenment is real and magic truth. 

-"I will not let you win this time." Carmen thought to herself. "You already have everything I want, and I won't let you have the only thing that keeps me alive. My beliefs are mine."

She began to convulse, talking to her self as if fighting internally with another entity. Mary only observed the situation and let it developed in front of her. No Judgement, NO FEAR.

That realisation startled Mary, she was experiencing for the first time in her life the full meaning of Trust. Her faith had been reenforced to the point of steel. She, herself was transitioning too in that precise moment. Feeling the danger of Carmen's mind, and still be able to hold her space and her own mind. Mary found her Christ Consciousness that moon-less night, dark and dangerous. She indeed managed to access her sacred secrets and made them known to herself. She felt safe and secured, regardless of Carmen's intent to frighten the shit out of her. She found peace, and from the centre of the hurricane she saw her sister being carried away. 

That nigh they shared the same bed. Like little sisters telling each other stories before falling asleep. Carmen telling horror tales, Mary listening with care.

Thus is the story of colours, some are bright and shiny, others dark and mate. All in truth serve the rainbow, all in awe create one truth. One reality experienced in two very different ways.

And so it is.

LoveAlways x 333

Changing Reality #icebucketchallenge

 

   Hadrian walked to the busy shops that morning of New Moon in Libra. Not suspecting the transformation which was about to take place in the middle of the High-Road, among shoppers and passengers alike.
   He only meant to buy something to help him survive over the long weekend, forgive and forget. Processed food, cheep light yogurts and beer. Nothing could be more mundane than that, nothing could've felt more real.

   Suddenly, a man steps out from the crowds, in a scene from ancient markets of the Middle-East, shouting "Assalamualaikum, Assalamualaikum my brother." as if recognising Hadrian from his homeland, But Hadrian knew him not, and immediately felt rejection of his dirty appearance and attitude. He knew that man was after only one thing, money.
- "Assalamualaikum yeah?" The man asked as he brought his nose closer to Hadrian's in an unconscious attempt to find a connection that would open their hearts.

- "I have no money with me" Hadrian's disdain showered over that man, as cold as an #icebucket, but that man persisted. Asking for just enough to complete the cost a coffee cup. he opened his hand and showed Hadrian a hand full of copper coins. "I carry not physical money with me man, if I did I'd give you what you ask for, but I don't have cash with me. I'm sorry" A final blow to make that man fly away.

   Hadrian makes his way into the market where he pays his pleasure food and drinks with a promise, as always grateful for his ability to cover his needs. He buys and leaves the shop. But right outside was that man again. Hadrian did everything to ignore that man who began to shout once again in an attempt to call his attention "Assalamualaikum, brother. Excuse me brother." His voice sounded so clear and powerful that made it stand out from all the background noise of that busy saturday morning at the market.

Hadrian stopped and looked back where that man was, as he approached in a hurry.
   "Assalamualaikum. Please, help me brother" the man begged again with a street wise attitude which kept making Hadrian a little unease. "My mother is sick, she is at home and we have nothing to eat. Please help me, anything will do."
   "I have no money man, but I can get you food if you want." Hadrian began to feel something greater was happening. He couldn't leave that man there when he had his hands full of comfort food.
   "What would you like?"Hadrian asked.
   "I don't know, milk, cheese and bread" The man said hesitating in a first humble attitude.
   "Ok, I'll go and get you something" Hadrian said, as he turned going back to the shop.

He began to browse for food, in his mind he thought about healing foods that would nurture those people. "What can I get for them? what would they like?" His mind began to structure a meal, maybe a vegetable soup. He began to take everything that felt right and delicious.
   "Do you like chocolate?" Yes, the man nodded with a big smile on his dirty face.

   "Right. Let's go. Now, take me to your mother" Hadrian said with confidence and authority. The man open his eyes in shock as he packed the groceries.
   "Wait, what, why? no, no, no. There's no need. why?" The man was taken out of balance and comforted.
   "If what you're saying is true, you will take me to her right now." The man began to apologise, worried and ashamed.


   Hadrian could feel her sadness and weakness. She was lying down on a dirty bed, with flies and a rotten smell of damp cloths and walls, that could kill the strongest gladiator, even more a tired old woman. She looked up and opened her empty eyes, clouded and without hope.
   She smiled. Hadrian did too.

   We cooked, we cleaned, we talked and we healed, we laughed. The windows opened, the light came in as rushed as the wind. Something happened that #icebucketchallenge day. Hearts opened and we became brothers in a cleared atmosphere. Mother got up from bed and walked to the tiny window that gave her a glimpse to the sky above. Put her wrinkled hands together and gave a stare to the infinite. She didn't cry, all her tears have been dried up, sucked by the desert of her memories.

LoveAlways x 333

STOP MOVING. How to kill your Ego - INTRO

A couple of months ago I met a friend who brought, without him even knowing it, one of the greatest messages of light I've ever been awarded. And with it, I've decided to find a way to bring my life to a complete stop.

This is much easier than it sounds, since it doesn't involve physical death. However, the fact that I went through two very powerful close to death experiences (NDE) makes it a lot easier to achieve, now that the fear of dying forms no longer part of my reality and my mind knows what means and feels to loose it all.

WHAT FOR? The reason and purpose it's easy to explain. This is the quest of total submission of the mind into achieving enlightenment. 

WHAT IS ENLIGHTENMENT? The absolute balance and connection between the outer and inner world or as Buddha puts it, the end of suffering. 

WHY? This began as a journey of self-healing and happiness many years ago, and has become a quest into discovering who I truly am. In every sense, as deep and as revealing as possible. For my own higher benefit and for the benefit of all. WHY? I have nothing better to do :) 

HOW? Well, here comes the tricky part since this process it's about NOT doing. Which, if you can trust me on this, it's so fucking difficult. The mind (specially mine) tends to jump like a spoiled monkey from past to present, to future and to past again like an uncontrollable machine of thought. During this process much emotion it's created, much of it becomes suffering, simply because it's not real. Past and future are creations of a self-aware mind that remembers and projects. However, during this self-enlightening process, we become hooked on the ideas of an enriched ego. Our job is to detect this situation and stop it. Not by telling how wrong it is, because it's not wrong, the mind and ego are doing simply something that feels good to them. However, it does not serve the rest of the team which are the body and the soul. This is what creates suffering and pain, which in time translates into illness and eventually death. 

So, how to stop this process or at least become aware enough to use it to our advantage? In my experience that becomes the Discipline of NO MOVEMENT. 

It's a whole practice and lifestyle but it can be resumed in a very simple structure. 

DO NOT - WANT NOT - THINK NOT

BUT HOW????? All great teachers talk about this moment but it feels so impossible, if we can't even stop thinking how are we going to stop wanting, and even more impossible how to stop doing. We live in a world of massive energy expenditure. We need to work to survive, Calories are burnt with every breath and with every breath we live and die. How to stop thinking? 

- I begin by controlling my breathing patterns and rhythms. With patience, discipline and determination somehow, I know, I'll find the way into my own enlightenment. That is because MY HEART DESIRES IT AND MY MIND BELIEVES ITS POSSIBLE.

Right now, I'm reaching a point of a very slow existence and thinking. My time is slowing down, way down. I don't know what will happen next, but I'm doing everything that feels right...which in this moment is Nothing. I do Observe and Listen a lot with gratitude and love though but this a passive attitude more than an activity.

Also, I'm becoming aware of how my reality begins to transform and everything and everyone change accordingly, but I feel too stupid to even dare to understand or control. At this point I'm only experiencing, allowing and documenting the process, I keep up my yoga and meditation practice and have stopped and avoid at all cost all toxic foods and situations. 

My training includes very intense physical exercises, body weight and calisthenics, I'm training my mind with Telepathic inter dimensional communication, psychic astral projection, archetypes, yoga and meditation. I have started using mono-atomic products to enhance and protect my systems body and mind, avoid fluoride, tap water (drink only spring water), eat as natural, fresh and DELICIOUS as possible. I cook all my food, bless all my food and waters. Follow the cycles of the moon, translate messages from animals and plants, grow my vegetables and plant flowers. Pick up rubbish and clean up my surroundings, invite friends for lunch, and dance and sing in every opportunity.

Talk very little, do very little and finally I'm beginning to think very little. At this right moment I can say, IAM EXACTLY WHERE I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE and I'm enjoying every second. Will it last? I don't think so, reason why I must enjoy it to the maximum and I know this document will help me remember how one day everything began to stop and my life began to flourish. 

LoveAlways x 333

Mystical Marriage

There's been a massive shift of counciousness, and the focus of our awareness has now integrated with its twin flame. 

Of course I'm talking about the mystical marriage between our Logic and Trust. Biologically speaking, between the pituitary gland and the pineal gland, or if you dare to go deeper, between our divine masculine and feminine within.

The soft yet very powerful union happened about a week ago. During a collective meditation between this world and other dimensions. Studying the art of Telepathy allowed the YOUniversal flow of light to cross paths with each other, allowing the observer to see itself free of the controlling dominance of the mind, and open to receive the quantum information of the soul. 

The moment of truth became a sudden shock to the system which began to inform the new awareness of the abilities of a new being been formed. Yes, with this marriage there is the birth of a new existence, a new being created in the image of it creators yet completely unique and independently joint in the benefit of all. 

We are now experiencing the turmoil of peace and chaos, total vibration in the silence of now. Bestowed upon the new paradigm it is our job to serve faithfully to our own governor, The Lord our saviour has arrived and it is marvellous in our eyes. 

I C U - Full Moon 12-6-14

Today I feel strong, my body it's finding its strength in lifting less but more. Everything collapse around me and I'm still standing. My hearts longing for love, care and attention it's been met by my own ability to forgive and let go. I still remember my mother's way to show affection, in intensity rushes that would last seconds and then nothing. We were left standing wanting a lot more. That same longing I identify today with my lovers and more especificly with Craig's love which cannot give much and will not go away. A painful reminder of how much and for how long I craved for more. For time spent looking into my eyes, listening to my stories, caressing my skin, stroking my hair. Yes it all comes back to family, to the time when I needed it first and didn't get it and became a patern in my life. Creating a little angry kid, who doesn't get what he wants and in return he destroys you in every way he can. He would hurt you where he knows it's the most painful, not realising that that pain would hurt him even more. 

Now I see. I see how much I've hurt myself by hurting others for not being the way I wanted them to be. For not seeing beyond my scars and for not wanting to be mine. I guess it goes back to property. I wanted then to be mine, and it didn't happen again, and again, and again.

My heart suffered and I suffered, my body suffered and my mind suffered, but today WE FORGIVE AND LET GO..... Let go of every need to receive love for I provide myself with all the attention, care, and love I need. I promise to myself to not treat others in the way I don't want to be treated. I promise to myself to give all the love and attention to those who come to me. 

TODAY I LET GO OF ANGER

TODAY I LET GO OF REVENGE

TODAY I LET GO OF RESENT

TODAY I STOP MOVING

TODAY I STOP LONGING

TODAY I STOP WANTING

TODAY I START LIVING

TODAY I START GIVING

TODAY I START LOVING. 

... And so it is

LoveAlways x 333

❤️❤️❤️

The Graduation Dream

It was the night of my graduation. I had come to collect my present or diploma. it was late and I wasn't wearing the uniform. Everyone else looked at me with certain airs of disdain and apathy. They knew that I never followed the codes or pre-stablished guidelines and still I had come to the same podium they've come. I was also deserving of my tittle and recognition. I felt worth it, even thou I didn't enjoyed the acceptance of everyone, I still had their tough love.

I had come to receive a gift. I saw all my books filled with words in strange arrangements. My writing was diagonal and there were a lot of hieroglyphics. Bold writing in diagonal that mirrored each other. Much of what I had written on those pages had been written in another world or at least in another time.

Then came the time to receive my right of passage. It was a blank book. The story continued and I was ready to become myself.

This happened on Monday, 16th Jun, 2014.

The Great Diamond Story

Inspired by Craig Peters.

This is the story of the greatest diamond that have ever existed. This diamond it's so huge that everyone desires to have it, touch it, see it or at least hear it. 

...and it all began in one little village in the middle of the Celtic woods. There, everything was green and luscious, beautiful scenery of a eternal spring day. Sunny, colourful; joyous with bird songs, fresh aromas of wet grass and naughty flowers. The perfect place to never grow old. 

Every person in that magical place knew of little Chris. Chris the smart, the helpful, the wise. For he was always present when you needed him the most, either to help you carry a stone, or carry you after a broken bone. He'd appeared out of nowhere and to nowhere he'd return once his helpful tricks would take you for a ride. 

To him, little Chris, everyone would ask about the Great Diamond. Everyone knew of its existence, but nobody knew where to find it. Many have told the many stories over the many generations. Thousands of stories of great men and women who once had the grace of coming closer to the shiny crystal. Some said they even touched it once, but no one has ever hold it long enough. For it is elusive to the darkness of the soul. The more you wanted it the less you could have it. 

Only those of pure white heart could ever dream to come close to it. Only him of clear intentions could hear the calling of its love.

One day, little Chris found himself battered and sad with thoughts of no control. He who helped everything and everyone could not come to help himself for his heart hold one big secret, the secret of his origens and destination. 

Little Chris lived in a timeless world of no future and no past, making a living by helping to live. However, in return for his services, as a pay, he would only get, time after time the same question from those he helped. -Where is the Great Diamond? I know you know. Please tell me boy, where is it? 

Little Chris knew that every time after helping someone in need, the same question would pop out of that person's mouth making him retract into darkness where he'd pondered alone, until somebody else would need of him again, awakening his strength and will to serve. 

On that day little Chris began to run in search of answers. Guided only by a beautiful song in the back of his head, the sound of silence, the clear ringing of the Great Diamond who called upon him to come and help him be. 

Running blind he could hear the voices of the people he once helped, serving as guides across the mighty land. Rrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnggggggg the Great Diamond rang. "Hurry Chris I need your help" but he could see nothing, no diamond, no light... and he began to cry. Rivers of tears flow and a poddle form below him. He, absorbed in a trance of sadness, empty and weak let all his darkness flow. Tears and more tears were cried from little Chris' eyes.

Where is the Great Diamond? he could hear, thousands of voices calling for him. "I DONT KNOW" the boy cried out loud, as his tears flooded the soil where he sat. And he began to sink into the wet ground.- But, he didn't care, he had renounced ownership of life, and he kept on crying. Whipping.

-"Rrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnggggggg" was all he could hear, as the ground swallowed him alive. 

In that moment, somewhere else, all the villagers heard the call. Rrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnngggggg. - "IT'S THAT BOY"- Everybody shouted at once. - "He has found the Great Diamond!" 

Rrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggggggg - "We must go to him at once, he needs of all of us!" - But nobody knew where to find him or how to look for him. Then, The Elder of the Clan shouted - "IN DARKNESS, You'll find the boy in Darkness" And so, everyone closed their eyes and began to walk in darkness, trusting that the sound of the Great Diamond would guide them to the boy. 

Seconds after, a voice was heard. - "IAM the light that shows you your heart, I am the boy that helps you survive. I am the servant that keeps you alive, I am the Great Diamond please find me."

And all the villagers found the boy and it was a beautiful day. Shiny, clear blue skies when one boy found his home. 

Moral: Always trust your darkness for it will guide you to the light. 

Saving my own life

It's funny how I have come to master my own body to the point of consciously getting sick or healthy depending on the circumstances happening in my life at certain given time or not. 

Knowingly achieving a strength or manipulating a weakness to asist the evolutionary expansion of my mind and the greatness of my-self. 

It is in that moment that I found myself last weekend when after a month or so of senseless smoking of weed sent me into a roller coaster that would jump start a new powerful transformation in my life.

As I was loosing will power to stop my mind from craving living high, I realised something must be done in order to regain my control as I needed to get back on track towards my main goals this year. One of them, if not the most important being the completion of my book. Second, the power training of my body and thirdly, the training of my mind.

As I spent more than few weeks hipnotized by the effects of Canabis, I began to loose track and only one thing has the power to get me back on track, and that is Death itself.

I got sick after buying weed from a very horrible source that not only contributed to the sickness but energetically pushed me into the Abbys. 

Falling ill that same night, giving me very powerful chills and horrendous high temperatures that would make my mind lost in dreams of hallucinations.

That feeling of getting sick was strong enough to make me reevaluate my life and what was truly important for me. But it also gave me the opportunity to fight stronger than ever for what it's right FOR ME, my life and myself.

I found stopping all medications that would give me confidence and certainty to my mind, regardless of the harm that was causing to my internal organs. Was until, driven to hospital by the high temperatures, the doctors made me realise the damage caused by the medication to my kidneys. Was there when I decided to not take more of anything. Heal my lungs, stop smoking and get on with the destiny I've chosen for myself. 

This decision was also helped by the arriving of Fernando to my life. A Brazilian hairdresser who I knew from Facebook, hardly exchanged any words, but when I knew that he had moved to London, I felt an indescribable attraction to meet him and get to know him. 

First I thought the attraction was born on my need to find a true professional who could take care of my hair. I've been growing it for months and I've been looking for someone to groom it.

But to my surprise, the reason I was so keen in meeting him was because he shared the same views about the other side of AIDS. He is a denylist of the HIV=AIDS theory and when we met the subject simply germinated and came to life as if it had a life of its own.

He began talking in medical terms of the many reasons HIV does not cause aids and in that moment I just knew the time had come to take care of my self fully and without restriction.

I felt beyond doubt the security I always dremt for. It was a very easy move. Not like times before when the move was always shrouded in doubt and confusion.

This time felt as easy as if it had never been there. It felt right. 

Life since, has continued to develope as natural as ever been. I have retaken the writing of my book and I'm awaiting news from my course to be start in September. I'm back in the gym and I'm now certain that whatever gain or loss it's absolutely mine, without the assistance of steroids and growth hormone that is added to the treatment of HIV. 

Today I'm back in control, as I've never been before. I'm healing my life and therefore my body it's healing itself. I have not much to do but to be truthful to myself and my feelings and that is exactly what I'm doing. Even when it means, telling it as it is to my mother, hurting feelings and shifting the direction of our relationship. 

I now have taken control over my relationship with Paco, my brother, who I believe needs the help of the family now more than ever, and if no one is available to help, I am and I'll do it in the best of my capacity. 

I have decided to cancel my class that I was about to offer in the community centre. Simply because I don't feel it and I took as a excuse the bad treatment I've been receiving from the other members of the committee.

IAM happier now and more relaxed. Exactly what I needed in this time when I'm given full control over my life.

PS: I'm loving the way the book is going. I'm so feeling it. It's great. 

Much LoveAlways

x 333

MultiUniverses, a new reality

I have to explain that there was a big gap that was growing within me. But mainly reflected in my life as Pain. Something really uncomfortable that kept ringing or making presence without a real purpose only to make me ever more aware of my presence, to the point that I was becoming aware of the length and depth of every single breath I took during my awaken life. I have no idea how this sound but let me tell you that for a novice like me it was becoming a bit of heaven and hell. Both at the same time. 

My body hurt in every direction and all intensities, and of course in every point. I know I've been excercising my power and strength both at the gym and at mind, but I never expected to be experiencing soch constant pain, which, after much observation and deep breathing, I came with the understanding that it was a lot more than simply muscular pain. 

It (the pain) was felt deep into the bones and could never fully point the exact source, for it moved and was felt on different ways and forms; always constant, always present.

At some point I knew it was part of a new rebirth, a new one in the many that we have experienced recently, and when I mean recently I mean in the last 7 years. 

It felt as if my inner structure (bones) were braking to give opportunity the chance to grow bigger, better and stronger. 

Yes, you could say all that sounds great in the phylosophycal meaning of life but in the small reality of our world was just a little too much confusion. For some part I was feeling some sort of obsession to build muscle. I have the strength, the stamina, the ways to do make it happen. I knew I could brake my limitations and begin to lift at least my own body weight and beyond, and this was becoming my truth. Yes I was getting stronger and the muscle was showing firm and powerful but at some point it all stopped because a pain, or uncomfort began to build.  I thought, ok I may be going to fast, or my age... I'm not longer 20s, but none feel right. I kept feeling that the pain was engraved beyond the body in parts of my brain. 

At some point I began to be sure that I was I'm the verge of a great breakthrough, that would reflect not only in my body but in every aspect of my life. That breakthrough materialised itself yesterday. Something just clucked in the right place making the first domino to fall, creating a domino effect that will transform all that I know, feel and am I ways that I always expected but until new were more of a hunch and nothing else.

It all began by loosing strength. Funny isn't it. 

For the last 3 days I began feeling weaker as I stopped resisting the pain, stopped taking supplements to drive my mind insane helping me go into beast-mode. 

So, yesterday I decided.... Although, not with me alone but along with myself too. It was as if all of us came together to make a decision. We were ready to learn from Pain, and discover the reason for its present existence and the discovery of our new reality. Immediately we knew the humongous task ahead, we felt it. Few times in life things have that manificence attached to it but when it does, it's everything. 

As simple as I'm going to share here is the way it happened:

MultiUniverses opened in front of me, giving me the ability to see in another perceptive sense, my own self reflected at different times and endless possible scenarios all happening and ceasing to exist at the same time. Past and future all merged in one single idea, a perfect understanding of what, who and why. A melodic arrangement that made waves of music, translated in feelings, dreams, certainties, emotions, desires, impulses... Yes, it became like a pulse of new life breathing within me, showing me simply a bigger picture than I currently hold of myself and everything else. A perfect reality of massive new dimensions. 

..., and in all realities, all MEs are still I, for the bridge between us is the ones of my soul pulling forward as it experiences diffent things at different stages of life all at the same time, creating a map which guides all of us in the right direction. The direction of our true heart desire. Hence the source of intuition. Which in this case becomes an experience of another me in another dimension pulling me towards something that I already know, for it has been experienced and felt.

What is the practical use of all this???

Well, none the more than the knowing that whatever you can dream is possible for it ALREDY EXISTS!!!!! 

I know I've heard that in many scriptures but it never made sense. It's like watching a magic truck being perform but until you know the secret of how to do it yourself it's that it actually makes senses. Right? 

IMAGINE, the implications of this. What first comes to my mind is FAITH, SELF-STEEM AND HOPE. That is, if I've been dreaming for something, let's say having lots and lots and freedom, to travel, to buy, to share, to reach, to eat, to heal, to etcetera.... It much powerful to imagine it as something real, something already Matter, than something with the possibility to exist. 

If I know and feel and understand something, then, that something becomes my reality. Remember, if you had the faith of a mustard you could move mountains???? Well, this is the fucking mustard. It is now waving as we speak in amazing speed inside my brain, rewireing and creating new networks. 

What would happen afterwards as things feel more confident, more used to IT??? I'm so eager to find out. Don't you???

If you'd like to hear more or would like to have a discussion or confrontation. Please contact me at: 

Eduardoblancouk@mac.com

Or Facebook: 

LoveAlwaysx3

A moment in silence

Not sure.... Actually, let me refrain that. I'm pretty sure that the cosmic time to go inwards, stop and find silence has been the reason I'm now getting a new "eureka" moment. A realisation to tune the direction of my life, personally and professionally into a huger frequency. 

Realisation number one. Today I came to terms with the idea that I do want a partner and that the reason I have not put myself out there was, because I hadn't accept fully responsibility over few issues and aspects of my life. As soon as I realised that, I took charge and immediately changed my perspective on how I see myself. "I am 100% healthy in body, mind and spirit; although I count with a +positive diagnosis from few years back when life was tough and unhealthy choices were made" regardless of what I believe the truth of HIV/AIDS is I can't ignore the fact that in at this precise moment that is a reality. That I may change the meaning of that reality, that is also true but at the moment. Step one is acceptance. 

Realisation number two: I am a coach with the ability to guide anyone into the greatest adventure of their life, to transform and find their real self. I'm the coach anyone need if their about to jump. For the moment of truth, the time of total fear and darkness. I'm the one who can share some light to guide them through.

Realisation number three: I can only write about the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So help me god.

LoveAlways

333

Times of Joy

After my initial shock, I now retain a more accurate picture of me. Yesterday was in its totality a day to be remembered for what I couldn't remember. As I wrote, or better stated, as I tried to write the next chapter of my book relating to the happenings of 2013, I came to realise the little I remember about that time. Only by reading the posts of those days is that I can recreate an image in my mind. However, emotionally I'm absolutely diss attached from them. Yes, I can see those words are mine and the life is mine as well but the emotions are not any more. 

It was a very strange feeling. The more it tried to paint a picture in the new chapter of my book the more I realised that I was not longer the man I was and therefore I could remember his life as vivid as I would if I still related to its emotions.

It all felt as if in a process of loosing weight I see my before picture 9 months after and I see how much I have really transformed during that time.

Anyway, I inow I have to continue with the final chapters of tat book. The sooner the better. Right now I'm enjoying life like never before. The balance and peace is in all ways beautiful and for the tine being I just want to hold on to this silence if the mind, joy of the soul and health of the body for as long as I can, without any possible disturbance.

I'm training my body,

I'm training my mind, 

IAM the soul. 

LoveAlways 

333

Finding peace

Haven't wrote much in the last months. I have to admit that finding inner peace also brought a sense of stillness that has lasted for much longer than I ever imagined. 

Last year finished with a bang. First and before mother arrived I began opening to sexual encounters. It was a time of explosive emotion but didn't feel real. I was not in any powerful way attracted to my mates, regardless of how beautiful or how young they were. 

The conflict happening on their minds or the inexperience in dealings with a more fulfilling lifestyle created a gap between us that couldn't be crossed without me feeling as if I was trying too hard, which at sons point I decided I wouldn't. So, the occasional meetings stopped, right on time before I was dragged to the past in a search to revive what was already buried and mothers arrival for Xmas and New Years.

Her time, I mean mothers, in London was fenomenal, I believe she enjoyed her stay as never before. Finding a strong son, in body, mind and spirit. We stayed at home many times but we also visited many of the places she wanted to see for the first time. Little India, and a temple in North London.

When I found myself alone again, I took a day or two to find my balance and ready to start with my new year resolutions.

1. Body work, insanity, gym

2. Uni, intro to counselling

3. Book, writing my book

All began wonderfully, thou didn't stay that way for long. Past demons cane back to hunt me when the proves I started with my bro G, came with a splif right after each training. I knew it was causing me moral and physical damage. I was going down for the last time.

Two week I managed, until I dropped with a terrible gold that turned into bronchitis. That lasted for 3 weeks that I stopped training, thou I managed to continue with my classes at Uni every Saturday. I felt a big shift began to happen within me. I was not longer feeling the need to get high, though my mind was weak at saying no.

I used the bronchitis to stop my bro coming back. 

This decision unchanged a reaction of defriending and separating from people and situations that weren't beneficial to me at that moment.

I began to say no to friends, no to people on Facebook, not to anything that didn't feel right. And I loved it.

That feeling gave me opportunity to find a balance like never felt before. I began a time of deep content with myself. I began training very hard and the results in my body are showing. I'm peaceful and healthy. I'm loving my life.

Though I also began to worry about a relationship. Do I want to be in a relationship? 

Today I cancelled a date. I wasn't in the same Chanel. 

I believe I'm ready to become celibate. 

My life is now vibrating in a different frequency. I don't need the stimulus of an orgasm with another person. At least not now.

I'm very happy and proud to live my life now in unity with all. Not gay or straight.i simply am. 

I am at peace.

SatNam

333