Day One

A new cycle begins. One of trust, love, beauty and amazing transformations. Not saying that the last cycle wasn't all that too but this one will be focus on myself, saving my life and not trying to become the saviour of the world.
Yes, there's a part of me that wishes things had been different and people would've listened to what I had to say and pay more notice of people like me but if that had been the case, well, this world would be completely different and either be in a greater chaos or in a wonderful peace. Anyway, things happened for a reason and I'm happier with the results as life unfolds.
Just to imagine how things could've been different if I had fully healed myself, I'd be walking on water and guiding millions over mountains and shit like that. OMG, thanks god that didn't happened since as we now know, I don't give a shit about saving the world and its habitants (humans)
I'm pretty happy and I have no problems with someone suffering, ill or in problems when I know is part of their growth and not as result of an injustice caused by others and even that is part of their own path of learning and enlightenment.

How liberating is to live my life for my own pleasure.

Thank You, thank me, thank god
LoveAlways
xXx

Lost and Found

Finding the strength to get up every single time when we find ourselves down and lost is another way to build inner character and power, though we can see this only from above. How many times have I fallen? Probably I've spent more time flat on the ground than straight up but every time becomes easier to find the balance to stand proud and enjoy the view.

Seven years ago I was in a very similar situation, looking into the future with no idea of what was about to come, then everything looked dark and scary. Like seeing a big mountain in front of you and not knowing how to tackle it and begin climbing. Fear and doubt clouded the vision and the heart but HOPE made possible the first step into the unknown and with that came the second and the third. Somehow one day we made it to the top.

Seven years ago I felt I had nothing, my life was upside down waking up from a the nightmare of fears, sadness, anger and insecurities to a world of meditation, self healing and natural remedies. Where the quest thought was to find God, instead i found myself and call myself God while showing the world how to come back from death and live to tell the story.
Becoming the saviour of the world made me understand we are here first to find our true selves, then the rest is easy, very easy as happiness and health simply happens instead of being pursued, but first we have to ask ourselves and keep asking.
It's almost incredible that the most difficult question is the simplest of them all -'who am I' and I'm beginning to fear may be the only one never fully answered, thou understanding this darkness gets all other questions answered which makes things shine in the light and life turns alright.

Now, seven years later a new cycle begins and I still have no idea what's about to happen but trust everything will be alright and have everything and no-thing I need to make a great adventure come to life. I'm grateful that the circumstances are pretty decent and easy to deal with. I've been asking myself what do I need now? actually i need only time to make new dreams come true. Need nothing we don't have, having all the tools and comforts well covered. Even much money wouldn't change life that much different, thinking it'd actually take the edge off from this moment and I want to live it in full from the very beginning. I know money will come and I'm looking forward to welcome it in abundance only to give me the freedom to step into my next big mountain which will come for sure. Winners, we keep building the wealth in wisdom and experience to make life...MY LIFE, whatever it is, it's great.

Seven years ago I felt lost, today I've been found. The rest in the air and it smells of eternal gratitude. Special thanks Sioban for finding us at 3:33, I always believe in the kindness of strangers. God bless you in your travels.

LoveAlways
xXx

Turning to the dark side

On my last post dated Jun 14th, I stated that there was a lack of inspiration in my everyday breathing and that something needed to be done to continue the journey. In the last 12 days many things of powerful outcomes had happened. First I realised that whatever I was doing or being wasn't making me happy. There was a part of me denying the identity I builded up over the last 7 years. I was killing myself emotionally when at the same time healing the body. Of course this was not going to happen, one cannot heal unless everything heals. I couldn't undertand what was wrong or not completely right. I was surviving with bread and water that put me in an anaemic state with a full collapse of my immune system once again for almost 30 days. But why? I had become the example I was meant to be, I was good at what I was doing, people were loving me and things were looking brighter... and still I was not happy. I began to sabotage the progress made, cancelling clients and falling into depression.  

At some point a friend asked me, what is what you want? I said, -I don't know but I know that I don't want to become a slave of my own progress, I see people in a vicious circle getting clients, making sure you keep them happy, when at the same time trying to be happy myself, becoming a commodity for people that can pay my fees while ignoring the one who can't pay or just leaving few hours for charity work since I had to worry about making a living first... This is normal standards in our world nowadays but that visualisation did not inspire me one bit. So what do I want? I had no idea... but I certainly knew what I didn't want and it wasn't that.

First, I realised that on top of all my priorities was the need to be part of the human society, be accepted, loved while I'm useful and beneficial to them. Everything I've done in the last 7 years was to become the best I could possibly be to serve as an example to my fellow humans. I healed my life, body and my mind... but still wasn't enough to get the recognition I was hopping to get. So I decided to stop trying. I decided to make myself, my life and my happiness first priority on my list but that presented another dilema, I had built an identity so well constructed and powerful that I didn't know how to step out of it. So how to start from scratch when I need to drag with me the ideas of what people have of me. I was not just going to make a gradual transformation. I needed to make a clean up start simply because that's the way I am. Don't have the responsibility of a family or children to support and can take any decision in my life without affecting anyone. 

So I did and I'm much happier now

xXx

 

Again, start all over again?

I know exactly what to do next, I just have to start all over again. I've done it many times and I'm great starting things up. I know that whatever I choose will be a success and that it will be beautiful. However, I've started so many things for so long and many of those things lost in the mud that I'm not that excited about new projects. It's like "whatever" not even the memories of long awaited paradises spark the excitement inside my heart.
Yes, I know it feels good to start something but I can't believe this time is the good one, is not like that. I just don't care anymore to get up in the morning to create a beautiful brand new day. The sun through my window does not inspire the dream of a happy day, food has become a chore instead of pleasure and I have to trust that things will get better somehow. Simply because if they don't get better, they probably get worse which we don't want but certainly we don't care.

Somehow we have to find the inspiration out of somewhere to get back on the train and continue our journey.

xXx

NOW WHAT

Don't know what to do next? My life has completely changed in the last few years, reinventing every single aspect of it. I hardly recognise myself in the mirror, I'm not sure of anything anymore, even the food I used to love is not longer of my taste, my body is not the same whatsoever and after so long trying to be different from what I was, I think I finally achieved my goal, which leads me the topic of this blog: What Now??
I'm passing through moments of boredom and emptiness not sure what to do next, what to bring into my life to take the place of what is not longer there, while making sure not to fall victim of my own conditionings being careful not to try to put my old skin back, it wouldn't fit anyway.
So, what's next? To be patient and wait for adventure to knock on my door? Maybe, since I'm not very keen on going out chasing big dreams, at least not at the moment, been there and done that many times anyhow. Now, I'm actually enjoying the nothingness of this moment for the first time in my 42 years trying to fit in while seeking Truth and excitement. Thou sometimes gets a bit boring and lonely, besides that it's all beautiful.

- A couple of days back had a very powerful Revelation. I was feeling quite bad in the mornings as I woke up. Having had pneumonia for 3 consecutive years, ending up in hospital and in coma the last time, I knew the symptoms and they match with the ones felt that morning and for the last few weeks, plus heart problems for lack of exercise and liver failure induced by all the crap I eat and drink. In my mind created the worse scenario, kind of recreation of an epic story.
So, packed a little bag with PJs, my book and my laptop and headed to A&E at Saint Mary's hospital sure that I'd be staying there for at least few weeks. Feeling very weak I kept repeating a mantra to help me walk the streets making my way to hospital. I could hardly breath and lack of oxygen made my eyes blurred and my mind dizzy.

Hours passed with screen tests done, blood taken, heart monitor connected, X rays and more, only to come back 100% in perfect condition. My lungs and oxygen levels were in full capacity, liver and internal organ working in perfect harmony, heart beating away like a Salvation drum. All my symptoms were only in my mind and nothing else.

I felt pretty stupid, have to say. For once on a list of 14 years healing from Cancer to Aids holistically and without medication, I got god smacked by what I had now in front of me. Realised how powerful and naughty the mind is, recreating old patterns and beliefs when obviously is not the same anymore. Much work has been done in the inner transformation, physically and spiritually and of course it has produced results. I just though, "I think is time to get sick again" An unconscious thought that this time died before it could cause any more harm as it didn't find fertile ground to grow and for that IAM GRATEFUL :)
SO, What's Next..

Can you see the light?
- www.iBEEcome.com

xXx

Breaking Point... WE HEAL

Testing testing 123...
This is not a drill, please go to your nearest healing point.

Testing how strong everything and everyone is has been something I've been doing naturally since I can remember. People got tested for their love, strength and resilience to stay put. Very few passed the test finding myself all alone and empty handed many times. Making people angry while throwing away great opportunities for not been able to cope with the stress I put on. This beehaviour did not only applied to others or other situations, It applied mainly to myself. I've been testing how strong I am for as long as I can remember. Not doing something because it wasn't safe wasn't reason enough not to do it, in contrast was precisely the driving force to made me dive into the unknown with even more reason. I say "Want me to do something, tell me not to do it"... Sounds familiar? We all know how that feels, don't we? ;)
I couldn't understand at first why I was driven to such dangerous levels beyond the point where the majority of people would dare to go, putting my happiness, sanity and life at risk. My brother pointed at me many times the self-destructive attitude towards my life and everything that surrounded me, making almost impossible to reach the security and peace I was looking for.

I kept pushing and pushing myself to the point of throwing away the life and everything I had but why did I do that? what reason could possibly exist? I knew deep within that the destructive behaviour wasn't about an end but a beginning but couldn't understand anything else. Many times I honestly believed I was the rotten apple of the lot. Something really wrong and evil lived inside of me and the only way to put an end to it was to exterminate it, to kill it, and so, I tried many times to kill myself in unconscious attempts that somehow did not scare me, as if I knew that I'd survive somehow and if I didn't not much was lost. However, a part of me knew best and kept regenerating over and over, It didn't matter how hard I stretched my chances I would hold strong and get stronger as I reached my weakest link. This sparked my Faith... in myself and therefore in society and this world. If I can heal myself, everyone can and not only because all the things we could do to achieve balance, that helps but because of what WE ARE. WE HEAL. Doing healthy things creates logic in our mind and therefore expect results. But what if you believed you could heal regardless of what you do? What would anybody do with that power? Love? hate? create or destroy? It's all possible, why not?

I believe we are beings of light and therefore is in our nature to love each other and oneself. However, how do we test our love, how would anybody know what our love is capable of?
Healing is one of the main abilities of all things in life, don't believe me, just look around and see how powerful we become after each disaster that tests our abilities to heal in the collective as well as individually. Though I believe there are many others with different strengths and weaknesses. Reason why we need to come together and teach each other what we can do, learn and listen from one another is the best and easiest way to beecome fully integrated and complete. I'd love to learn about what you can do, if you still don't know, let me show you what I've discovered about US.

- How to remember something we don't know we know? WE TEST to see what might be there.
- How would anybody understand what we are really made of? WE TRUST there's more.
- How can we reveal our own truth? WE SHARE and that's exactly what we are doing here.

Can you see the light?
- www.iBEEcome.com

333
xXx

CHAPTER 33 ALERTE TO GOD 333

Dear Mark,

Thank you so much for your email, you have no idea how much it means to me to have this first feedback. It has been very difficult to try to understand all that has happened over the years and being ignored or condemn for so long only made it worse.
But if I could ask your opinion about this story, what would you say about it? Is in any way compelling? You think is worth writing it?

I have a lifetime of material to put together a book or several :) but I'm not sure about its potential and my writing skills. English is not my first language as you probably guessed and I feel a bit insecure about outlining a book proposal. Do you think someone would be interested in writing this book together? Would you?

Dear mark, I have no idea how this works, procedures or code of conduct. I truly bless and appreciate this opportunity you give me to be in touch with you. I don't want to abuse your generosity and I'm sorry if I'm asking too much.

humbly yours,
Eduardo
xXx


On 12 Aug 2012, at 09:14, Mark Dowd wrote:

Eduardo

Thanks for this brief summary. It strikes me that your story is much more suited to book than newspaper article treatment. I think doing justice to all the twists and turns and complextities would be so difficult in a mere 1500-1800 words which is all the press give you.

Have you tried writing out an outline as a book proposal? It might be worth a thought…??

Mark

From: Eduardo Blanco [mailto:eduardoblancouk@mac.com]
Sent: 09 August 2012 08:33
To: Mark Dowd
Subject: Re: a friend's story ...

Dear Mark,

Thank you so very much for allowing me to get in touch with you. Sorry for the late reply, I needed time to focus on the right intention and reasons why share this story in confidentiality.
I'm sharing with you one chapter of this story which includes very powerful characters and events that transformed the course of my life.
Will try to be as concise as possible in this first direct communication with you.
I look forward to your feedback and comments.

With immense respect and gratitude
Eduardo Blanco
xXx

CHAPTER 33 - BishopsGate

In 2007 after a couple of years of continue depression, confusion and self-destruction aggravated by a deadly diagnose received a year earlier, Ed met M.
Ed's services as companion were greatly embraced by M who at the beginning gave him a powerful sense of protection and guidance. A feeling that lasted for over 3 years with very compelling results.

With great quantities of money and drugs being poured over him, Ed's life came to an end on the 23 of October, 2007 after a crystal-meth overdose. An episode that got documented on the blog: http://becomingtheoneiwant.blogspot.co.uk/2008/10/light-at-end-of-tunnel-my-story.html one year later.
After coming back from what he felt was the end of his life, Ed began to experience a very powerful awakening of spirituality and consciousness. Knew he needed to leave behind the very toxic behaviours and relationships he had surrounded himself with. However, Ed was still 100% dependent on M's financial support which he needed to repay in services and situations that kept him trapped in the cycle of addictions and fears.

Realised the need for a complete change and traveled to Mexico, only few days after awakening from the OD, a trip to detox physically, mentally and emotionally. Secluded with his mother and her 25+ years of experience as Kundalini and spiritual teacher, he found a connection with some sort of higher consciousness which became stronger with time and Ed realised something big had happen within himself. He became aware of situations never noticed before with the understanding of the illusion that the duality of the mind creates and a connection with a spiritual dimension that filled his Being with so much love and light.

Two months after, Ed's back in London with the conviction to transform his life and his world. He shared his intentions with M and told him about what was going on in his mind and the spiritual awakening he was having. The toxic life-style, dependance to substances and financial help were not longer what he was looking for. With this new awareness his creativity also expanded, by then he had created a handful of beautiful new ideas, one of them became 'the project'. A website to promote health and fitness among communities which in time captivated many minds and hearts even across the oceans reaching companies in NYC and Canada. https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=153432210584

M could not let go of Ed that easily so offered to help with the creation of iSportYou (the project) if Ed accepted to keep their relationship alive.
Ed felt very happy and believed in Ms good intentions to help him become someone of respect and substance, healed from the inside out. But as the help arrived also the demands. Ed needed to continue providing the fun and toxisity M craved and so much harm caused to Ed's immune system and life. M was perfectly aware of Ed's new natural and alternative approach to self healing, more importantly so with the deadly diagnose he carried over his shoulders which started to demand treatment.

He tried hard to distance himself from that lifestyle without upsetting the benefactor. However, Ed realised that M's offer to help wasn't unconditional, and worse, it was never meant to involved him or his expertise as businessman only his very controlled and manipulative financial assistance.
The more Ed tried to pull back from negativity the more M pull back his support. Unfortunately by that time Ed had already a group of four people working on the creation and programming of the website, a project manager and an office in Mayfair. The expenses were many and he needed to constantly produce large amounts of money to keep the ball rolling. Realised how he got himself inside a very tight force jacket. His relationship with M was not longer only affecting himself but now, it was affecting also the group of people that had believed in him and more importantly in 'the project'. He couldn't continue with that farce for it was not helping anyone but Ms. He kept having his fun... but not for long.

Noticing the dynamics being played Ed finally put a stop to M's demands with the obvious reaction. The project ended and Ed freed himself. From that moment onwards he had the chance to deal with the alternative theory about HIV (http://rethinkingaids.com/) and self healing of my body, mind and spirit.

A couple of years later Ed returned to London after spending 6 months inside the Mayan jungle of central America where he went through another amazing process of transformation and spirituality. His life and identity dissolved under the 11.11.11 alignment and he needed to reinvent himself once again. He began to work as spiritual coach and healer, sharing and using his experience to assist in the evolution of human awareness and the expansion of the mind to better understand who we truly are in relationship with each other and the universe.

http://www.eduardoblanco.com


---- o ----

Dear Mark, this is just a tiny smear of the complexity and depth of this story. I'd love to share with you so much more if you are ever interested.
Is my hope one day to have this story and biography published to share experience and inspire change, love and light.

Look so forward to hear from you, Muchas gracias desde fondo de mi corazon.
Dios te bendiga hoy siempre

Web:
http://www.eduardoblanco.com

Blogs:
http://spiritualpersonaltraining.blogspot.co.uk/
http://becomingtheoneiwant.blogspot.co.uk/
http://thenewhivchronicles.blogspot.co.uk/
http://awakeningdiaries.blogspot.co.uk/

Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/LoveAlwaysx3
https://www.facebook.com/SpiritualPersonalTrainer

xXx

On 6 Aug 2012, at 13:21, Mark Dowd wrote:





Eduardo

Estamos en contacto!!

Saludos cordiales,

Mark