Yesterday we opened a new line of communication with the Self. Today, a new communication route opened with the outside world.
I'm very happy for the opportunity to share our experiences but I cannot hide it anymore. There's a special person in my life who has been affected a lot by my life choices and now the distance between us is feels like walking over a rope bridge. This person has been an integral part of my life since we personally met on the 8th of August, 2010.
With him, I grew stronger, wiser and deffinetelly more organized and structured. I also admit that hasn't been easy. He's also Fire and with a powerful personality but has a great way to be sweet and loving. He's charming and very handsome.
I'm not good at talking about my personal love. I've never done it before. Probably because I never had it before. I lived with few partners but never felt the compatibility and set of emotions and feelings I'm feeling now. I tried for many years not to feel much about anything. For most part of my life the feeling were to painful to hold and somewhere, somehow I managed to deactivate my sensors. I did not feel pain or fear but I did not feel love either. And this was ok for a while. I became very distant with the people I met. I could have them or not by my side. I could loved them for a while but if needed I could just move away and keep on going.
But now is different, this person is on my mind constantly. My heart moves and trembles with thoughgts of him. I keep wondering how is he doing, and what. fantizise about him and makes me feel insecure about love.
I truly understand who I am and what I want my life to be, at least I do now. And I also know that much of my life choices hasn't been comfortable to people around me. For many years were not comfortable for me either. No wonder I came to Mexico for a full reset and spiritual awakening and rebirth.
I'm new in all this. I'm on unchartted territories but I´m willing to open myself and feel. I want to feel love even if it means not to have it with me. I want to learn what it feels to fly over the sky powered by the heart. I want to give myself freely and accept love unconditionally.
I don't even know how to express what I feel. is like a battle between the gate keeper. Some part of me wants to open the flow of feelings and some other part is very afraid of pain.
Anyway, I know that before I can be truthful to anyone I have to be truthful to myself. I have to honored my existance and the destiny I came here to fullfil. I wish I could just be a lover and a partner but I understand and I'm fully aware of my responsability (because I choose to) with my higer self and to the service to others.
So, I only wish for the best and prepare for the worse. If this person feels attracted to share his life with me would be a blessing but in the meantime I'm just very grateful he is in my life.
Thank you for showing me how to love
xXx
No comments:
Post a Comment