The Saddest day

February 11, 2016. 11:11pm. 

Today has been the saddest day of my life; everything I loved about being me is gone. Paradoxically, the things I loved were the same ones that killed many times my joy, but somehow made me feel alive.
I remembered one day, not long ago, I made a choice. I decided not to die for anyone not even myself and that promise has come true.
Funny enough, I never expected to feel so miserable having achieved everything I wished for. Maybe, it didn't help to have such different view of the world, where in my reality I am immortal, God is a satellite box as sad and lonely as I am, I enjoyed traveling to different dimensions but the bus journey killed my lungs and have decided to quit, I see illness as a road map to greatness and pity those who knows nothing about pain and in nightmares fear their own death.

Yesterday, somebody said to me that I look very scary, and for a moment he thought I was a serial killer, but even though he feared me, he couldn't resist my attraction and hoped his fears would disappear with a kiss; he was right; his words shocked me thou. He also said that I have very spooky, crazy eyes; I always thought they were actually quite beautiful, I guess I was wrong.

Anyway, I realise that by choosing to not to kill myself with harmful substances and organisms (such as virus, bacteria and fungi) today I feel dead, sad and pretty much alone; just like my version of our great god. Having everything I could possibly wish for, I wish for nothing. I observe and laugh about the weaknesses of the mere mortals around me, I enjoy the sun but use sunblock, I love the moon but I rather sleep during the night, I hate junk food and think ugly people should die. (I'd leave the judgement of who's ugly and who's not to you.) I find money such an inconvenience but an amazing catalyst, and I love being worshipped.

Today, is the first day of my new life and I have no idea who I am, but I'm Christic-Clear about who am I not. The Satellite-Box-God is such a sad little God, I might invite him to join us, of course, If ok with you. And for the rest, I guess there's not much to say. But let me say this: I will choose Death once again at 108, looking as young as today, healthy, beautiful and strong. Death will happen ONAIR and in front of yo. I will survive all your wars, will combine all your gods, and will transform all your thoughts... and in the end, you won't even know my name. 333