Last monday went to the HIV clinic to talk to the doctor and tell him that I was not ready for a commitment about taking medication I feel is not for me as I've known for many years now, but this time I'm not in doubt as I was for so many years and reason why I went into treatment 4-5 times.
I have managed to put behind my addictions... Finally, no more smoking of any kind, no drinking, no more hiding or running away from reality. This time is face to face with life and that included talking to the doctors and telling them I wanted to continue having a regular check ups and in case I get something (like the shingles this time) to be treated.
I felt very proud of myself, very empowered like I never did before, even the shingles didn't make me feel nervous or stressed about not taking the meds. Actually its helping me to feel stronger in my mind and I know that if I'm strong in the mind will be strong in the body.
I'm also waking up early 4:30am for Sadhana, my daily discipline of yoga and meditation. This is helping me to have much more clarity and certainty about the things I want to do in life. I realise now that a Master to stay a Master is necessary to stay on top of the game. This life is a constant proving and improving and is now the time to raise the game and stay firm.
I feeling very clearly how for the first time in my life I'm finally leaving behind this episode of weak immunity. Were the body weakness was only a reflexion of my inner state of mind and life. I've been a consumer all my life, buying, getting stuff and people to do things for me. Using my many talents and abilities to create a bubble of safety that kept bursting all the time but now, I'm shifting my life, Now, I'm a Producer, I create opportunities and new experiences for the general wellbeing. This shift has taken place gradually. It hasn't being easy as I'm learning by trial and error. I'm not having many people around who can advise much. I'd love to have a coach myself but I'm sure it will arrive when I'm ready for it.
Meantime, I joined Nikken a Japanese company that I got introduced to in Mexico by my friends and with great focus on wellbeing and health. I already registered and will receive my welcome package very soon. I have very strong feelings that through the promotion and sales of this products my income will increase greatly, giving me the opportunity to produce even more change and improve my life and the life of many others enormously. It just feels like the right move. I'm sure that by next week I will close my first sales :)
Life is not easy at the moment, It could be better or it could also be worse but I don't care. Right now it is what it is and I feel adequate to face it right on. I have the perfect tools to help me though any situation and with the right set of mind and spirit this feels like a moment in life I want to fully be aware of. I feel very strongly the joy of being stronger that the pain. I am strong in body, mind and spirit.
LoveAlways
xXx
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