Not because I never was but simply because I lived it 3 times during one single life time. But today I want to talk about the last time it came to me, announced and invited since 2007 when the previous encounter with Death happened as a result of a drug-overdose with crystal-meth, ketamine and marihuana. Then, the only thing in my mind was death. I had no dreams, no life-expectations, no hopes. I had just received a positive diagnosis of HIV a year earlier, the last Elder and moust loved memeber of my family died and I had nothing worth living for, at least it didn't seemed to me at that time.
However, my last death happened on January 2012, between the 8th and the 16th day while drifting away inside of a coma state, hospitalised with pneumonia and under my mother's care.
I was pretty confident I was going to die, but I was also pretty sure I was going to come back. Can't explain this, it was something like an instinct or faith guiding me through an event announced few years back.
Ok, to talk about how it was announced let me tell you what happened on 2007. After the over-dose and the recovery time needed to come back to the routine in my life, I was guided to create few documents, one of them was a video. This video was supposed to present my life in chronological order from birth to death... This video is posted in YouTube since the day it was created on the 21 April, 2008. (You can see the video at the end of this article). This video was created in less than 15 minutes, pictures scanned, video created and uploaded. I truly can't remember much of the process as I was under some kind of mental spell that kept me doing things without my mind registering or controlling the situation. I remember that the only guidelines to follow in the creation process was to include the logo for Mexico World Cup on the 70s and the then future London Olympics 2012.
Since I saw the video for the first time on Youtube I realised how much it felt like a story with a beginning and an end. The birth and death of some part of me but by then I was still not sure of anything. The video kept attracting my attention during the years. Many times I posted it on facebook and every time I watched it again, and again and every time it repeated the same message... an end is near, beware.
With my dark nature always very present, this idea of dying was pretty exciting. Thou I knew it was not really death as I had been prepared with so much information, wisdom and light that it would be such a waste to simply die and send all underground. Somehow, this idea gave me hope and also a very strong sense of immortality. I felt I could die as many times as I wanted and make an spectacular come back after only 3 days.
Anyway, to make the long story short. The winter of 2012 came with a present under the arm. By the first of january I knew for sure I was about to die again. I can't deny the certain fear inside my chest as there's no obvious guarantee that I will come back to life. But again, I was not going to miss the opportunity to meet face to face Death once again.
I knew, I couldn't keep living the way I was during my first 40 years of my life. I also knew a big transformation needed to happen within myself in order to fullfil my destiny, whatever this was.
So, when I began to experience the same symptoms I've had for the last 3 years of a closing of my lungs and loosing the capacity to breathe. I knew it was time to prepare for a metamorphosis. Months before, I had an amazing opportunity to create 3 workshops of 3 days each, in 3 weekends. The workshops were presented at "El Jardin de Shangrila" in Puerto de Carmen, Mexico; with the sponsorship of a now very close friend Heidi la Jurt. A beautiful soul that opened her house to me with the opportunity to create something beyond our understanding. 3 open workshops about my life: HEALTH, HAPPINESS AND PROSPERITY. This gave me the chance to review my life and realise that with in itself there was something of value to others. This was the very first time I did something like this. It was challenging and very stressful. I believe this was the last work of my mind as the captain of my life. Of course, financially the workshops were not a success but I didn't feel that was the true purpose of their existence. From the very beginning I felt my life slipping away but every morning I prayed for one more chance to finish what I had started for once in my life.
Christmas passed and the new born 2012 arrived while I was sleeping. That night went to bed early without waiting for the 00:00 hours. Mother and I couldn't care less about it. She knew already about my symptoms but as she started to feel ill as well we just joined up in a holistic outlook on how to heal ourselves. We decided to start a detox diet consisting of only fresh vegetables and fruit juices. She got better after a week with fevers and temperatures normalising. I, in the other hand got worse and worse.
I began to loose the flame within myself, breathing was simply another symptom of something so precious dripping away.
I was not afraid of dying... I was only afraid of being cremated right after my death. Of course I couldn't say this to mother. "By the way mom, when I die do you mind keeping my body intact for 3 days as I may be coming back?" NO WAY! She'd die in that moment. Her strength was weakening with every second and I thank her beyond words for respecting my wishes of not going into hospital or seeing a medicine doctor.
On the 16th of January I came back to life, my body completly useless like a new born baby.
(story of the time in coma coming CLICK HERE)
THE REST IS HISTORY...
I AM BACK AGAIN :)
XXX
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