Regardless of their beliefs in either believing or not, nor in which god they serve if they do, people seem to act almost automatically in answering yes or not, never giving much thought to the real answer within themselves. I know, because I never gave it too much thought myself. I was expected to know the answer so I gave every time my best performance. But for me and my inner truth was the only question I could never seem to understand, making my mind get lost in limbo with my face going all confused and startled, never knowing what to say. And to be honest I don't think many people do but they deny the fact that of god they know nothing in the hope that there is some truth in what they've been told to believe.
If you've been following my story for the last few years you'll know I'm a deeply spiritual person. So, how come did I miss the main piece of the puzzle? For many years I thought it wasn't too relevant in my life if either god exists or not. For me was only a very romantic idea of a father figure creator of everything but fixer of nothing and the certain son who came to suffer our pain who was also god and the cute little dove who also happens to be god. What kind of minds can ever understand such confusion and assert they believe in one single god? A god that punishes and tests the validity of love itself in every one of us who dares to exist in the hope of love and happiness.
That would be our job, the primitive mortals. And so, life went on. Had two NDE (near death experiences) one in 2007, the other in 2012, first one induced by a drug overdose, the other by illness. In both I had very powerful contact with a voice, vibration or knowingness that brought me back to life. Certain consciousness that felt as the all knowing, all seeing, all powerful being everybody talks about... but was that god? Or simply the next level up in the ladder of the consciousness and if that's true, how many levels are there? The next question was, if that was god why didn't I become transformed like all those figures who led a whole community across opened waters or created magic with rods and stuff like that? And if it wasn't god who talked to me and brought me back to life? who was it. Maybe was only I talking to myself?
Facing the ultimate question made me avoid it all together. I didn't care that I didn't know. Thou it made it very uncomfortable when someone asked me 'the question' because if I don't believe in a god, what do I believe in? The dark side? The pink side? What! Which is my side?
This question remained unanswered with only close solution. I BELIEVE IN ME. This made me feel fulfilled and satisfied, but did that made me an atheist? I believe in miracles but the one that can be created by a trained and powerful mind, I believe in evolution as the natural way to perpetuate the self awareness and awakening of this planet as a living entity. And more importantly, i believe in love and magic. That was close enough and I could easily understand that concept.... Until last weekend when all changed (25 may, 2013)
During that weekend I had a very close friend visiting me. We were talking about consciousness and spirituality. He was all respectful of my self-talk of IAM GOD. Then he asked me the dreaded question.... - And do you believe in god? To which I answered -I don't know what god is, As it has always played a very elusive roll in my life, pretty much like my real father.
Ok - he said, let me show you how to talk to god, the way you'll get an answer for sure.
Wow, this is cool - I, thought.
He then said to get on my knees, open my hands in invoking position and begin to ask for whatever I need the most, first. That weekend I was very focused on releasing negativity, using the power of the Sagg full moon eclipse and a mono-diet of garlic soup with almost 60 cloves. So I prayed, I began feeling how I entered in trance, reaching very deep levels and beginning to feel as something changing. My body felt lighter, my mind clearer and a very strange sensation surrounded me. When I finished my friend just said: let me introduced you to god.
LoveAlways
xXx
- visit my web: www.ibeecome.com
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