Shades of Shadows

Once upon a time there was a little boy named Lucisphere, and like every other inexperienced little Shade, Luci’s only wish was to become a powerful Shadow.

Shadows had the amazing ability to jump into people’s dreams; inside their sleepy heads, Shadows could subconsciously become best friends, brothers or even the best of lovers, regardless of age, sexual orientation or faith. Unfortunately, before their hosts could understand the presence of these entities in their dreams, people become frightened of them. Great Shadows helped the blind to see, the weak to heal, and the tired to die. They were chosen among a multitude of new souls for their ability to thrive in darkness, learning from pain and avoiding death. Unlike Lanterns, their twin brothers, Shadow’s light never die since they could survive even the end of times. However, in order to become great and powerful, all little Shades needed to take the Apocalyptic-Test. This test consisted of one simple question. The question was, is, and always will be: What am I not that I love the most? And although it has been, time and time again, the same Apocalyptic Test, no little Shade could ever anticipate the challenge ahead.

In essence, all newborns, Lanterns and Shades were born blind, needing to extract truth from a cluster of lies. Some were born in the middle of the night at 3:33 am; these young immortals were called Shades. The others were born during the light of day at 11:11am. Those little devils were meant to shine, be happy and eventually die leaving everything behind. But it was said, that for neither of them the life of men would make much sense, neither at the beginning or at the end, made to stumble upon each other during a tyrannical game in which one could either kill or reveal the other’s name.

From very early age, Little Luci wanted to project hr light into the sky, somehow she thought she could touch the stars. She inhabited many bodies before. For every shadow there’s a thousand lanterns chose to kill her host before she could even recognise . sHe powerful Shadow but at the beginning he didn’t like the messages he got from the others. He thought they were mean and unkind and did not understand the purity of his love. What Little Luci didn’t yet realise was that Lanterns felt a certain chill or fright every time he approached them. As a black hole, Luci could absorb all their attention making them loose focus and their minds, and even sometimes their soul. Before Luci could discipline his powers and own dark desires, moods and appetites, he would scare the hell out of people, subconsciously lurking in the dark as the feeling of some intruder hiding behind the curtains, under the bed, or at the other side of a door.  Terrified to close their eyes, Edy would torment people’s minds, slowly and sometimes painfully making them aware of something new, something different and something blue happening within each and every one of them. This would bring light to the darkest corners of people’s minds and so equally, he would bring love to the ugliest pleasures of their hearts. People didn’t understand what was going on, they felt naked in front of him and that situation made them feel vulnerable, easy pray for the hunter at bay.

For years Edy believed he was an unsuccessful broken Lantern, and wanted to die knowing that only death could recalibrate all the errors, and wipe out all viruses from the system. [But] It was until he realised his inability to die that he began to question his real origins, strengths and purpose in this world. On that day, he called upon the Architect of All.

- “Father, what do I need, to become aware of my abilities to make MY dreams come true?” Luci asked.

- “EMBRACE THE UNKNOWN” He answered.

- “What do I need to do to make ALL dreams come true? Luci asked again.

- “ENJOY BEING YOU.”

-“What is: I wish to be in people’s dreams.”

-“YOUR DREAM.”

In that moment, from a little Shade Luci became the greatest Shadow ever made. He was not longer ignorant or young; he was ancient and magnificent, he became True and Congruent. He embraced his dark light.

From that day onwards people would recognise him on the streets, unaware that they had been playing together, touching each other on each other’s dreams. They would then create new visions and dissolve the delusion of illusions. They would make love in every corner of the world. They would open their minds and hearts to each other’s light and gently allow human nature to nurture their lives. They would get rid of fear, illness and pain; together they would seed hope of a great new world. Together they would reach deep into the collective subconscious and allow themselves to love and be loved in return.

This is his ISIS mission in this world: To serve as a portal from where all illness, darkness and pain would transcend and transform into higher forms of enlightenment and love.

This is the story of the luminescence of darkness and his Numecode is:

DARKLIGHT333

Porque no puedo encontrar al amor de mi vida.

Esta historia es muy facil de entender, cuando la mente supera la intensión del corazon, de otra manera, simplemente la historia sonará ridicula y con tonos absurdos, pero aun asi deseo contarla.
- Y porque hoy? y para que? - Mi mente conciente, revolotea como un chiquillo enloquecido preguntando antes de escuchar.
- Pues porque, justamente hoy hace 23 años tomé una de las deciciones mas importantes de mi vida. Y en honor a ese momento y en reconocimiento al poder que ha tenido en mi crecimiento como ser humano y ser espiritual, es que hoy justamente deseo cerrar con ese ciclo, en la esperanza de que uno, nuevo y completamente diferente, entre en accion. El ciclo de sentir y crear desamor hoy termina.

Todo empezó en el 3 de Julio de 1991. 2:30 de la tarde, Tijuana Mexico.
Yo tania no mas de un año viviendo en esa ciudad, y todo era aun muy nuevo para mi. Ni de broma me imaginaba que con una inocencia de aquella magnitud, yo tuviera ya la sabiduria para darle un guiro radical a mi vida por tercera vez. Siendo la primera cuando me fui de casa a los 16 años, la segunda cuando me quedo a vivir en Veracruz para conocer a mi padre; y la tercera, cuando humillo al Amor, que me amó justo como me gustaba ser amado, y todo por seguir a un viejo exentrico que solo me aseguraba que yo conocería un mundo sin fronteras.

El amor tenia su nombre. Su nombre era Ricardo Lugo, y fue asesinado al ser robado por unos maleantes al salir de su casa de cambio, que al verlo triste y sin iluciones y completamente ahogado en alcohol, encontraron la oportunidad de atacarlo. Y la trizteza y depresion se la debia al echo yo lo hubuera dejado unos meses antes por irme de vacaciones a Disneylandia con el viejo aquel.-

Que si tengo remordimiento... Ni uno, pero se que ese remordimiento está enterrado bajo muchos metros de tierra asi como Ricardo. Reciclandose, exterminandose y empezando de nuevo. Talvez de eso se trata este escrito, una resurección de un amor divetido, cariñoso y autentico... eso es lo que fue El para mi. Pero desgraciadamente, Ricardo no iría mas lejos que al aparatdo de su officina en el centro de Tijuana. Y yo queriendo atravezar el mar, conocer Europa, sentirme libre... - Como es la vida de cabrona, Dios mio.

Podriamos pensar, que experiencias como estas se viven todo el tiempo, girando de un extremo al otro dependiendo de las circunstancias. Pues si, asi deberia de ser. Pero en mi caso ese momento fue el que me a marcado mi vida, porque desde entonces... (pausa)  ---- Bueno, pero esto te lo cuento hoy que he logrado decifrar el codigo del porque no he vuetlto a vivir el amor como con El, porque en aquel entonces yo actuaba en su totalidad por inpulsos, mi mente estaba mas pendeja de lo que yo soy ahora. Pero bueno, dejame continuar... ---

Desde entonces, aquel momento cuando por escoger La Experiencia del vejete aquel, que llegó con los años a convertirse en mi padrino y la figura paterna mas importante en mi vida; en lugar de El Amor de un joven abogado que lo unico que me ofrecia era un amor desinteresado y justo hecho a mi medida, fue que se ha creado, inconcientemente, un hechizo o contrato sagrado donde por alguna razon y seguramente por algun motivo es que el patron de mi vida mantiene las mismas estructuras desde entonces. Y son esas estructuras las que hoy deseo primero conocer claramente, y luego veamos si las podemos arreglar para que se veas mas bonitas y nos engalanen un poco mejor.

Estructuras o eslavones de mi cadena amoroza... que hoy se debilita por su lado mas fuerte.

1.- Yo antepuse siempre los intereses mentales a los sentimentales. - Mas claro ni el agua.

2.- Ganar experiencia en la vida es mas importante que disfrutar un amor romantico. - Joder, que fuete se escucha esto.

3.- Ahora seré yo quien le arrebate a otra joven pareja el amor de su vida. Ahora yo soy ese viejete que no tiene en que caerse muerto pero tiene una abundancia en experiencia a tal magnitud, que solo le falta una varita magica para transformar este universo en uno nuevo. Y será justamente esa experiencia lo que attraiga al joven amor, que en realidad nunca será mio por completo, pues vivirá, asi como yo viví, en la esperanza de un sueño de fantasia convertido en realidad; con principe azul, caballo blanco y castillo por supuesto. jeje. Y en ese caso, yo me convertire en Merlin, el anciano sabio que vive en las masmorras, entre cuentos y azulejos.

Y justo ahora escribiendo este ensayo, es que me doy cuenta que talvez no haya sido algo equivocado, eso de escojer experiencia a cambio de amor, simplemente una decision a voto de castidad emocional T E M P O R A L. Y ahora que lo escribo es que me doy cuenta que como todo guira, esto tambien esta guirando. Y tal vez.... Talvez, ahora ha llegado el momento de aprender a amar, dado que lo de sobrevivir y vivir se me ha dado muy bien en los ultimos 44 años. Que apesar de intentar terminar con esta vida, tuve la oportunidad de transformala y enbellezerla cada dia mas, y con ello la experiencia se vuelve completa.

ES MI EXPERIENCIA EL AMOR DE MI VIDA?
- Que coño, como me preguntas eso? Yo que voy a saber. Sera? Pues si es, que en la energia de esta experiencia se transforme en carne y hueso para personificar todo y mas, en un solo beso. Pero un beso que viva mas allá del recuerdo y de los sueños. Un beso que me transporte como passaporte por todos paises de mundo. Que me llene y vecie, que me fortalezca y me debilite. Un beso de tal magnitud que sea capaz de encerrarme entre cuatro padedes y no volver a ver mas el sol, la luna o las estrellas y yo embelezado acepte todas sus condiciones.

Para hablar de amor solo se puede hablar en Español, porque el corazon no conoce de fronteras y no tiene visa.

Hoy empezamos a escribir en espanol,
Hoy empezamos a entender mas el amor,
Hoy empezamos a sentir mas calor.
Porque el corazon hierve, y la sangre se evapora,
Porque mi vida anhela lagrimas sin penas,
Porque el amor de mi vida explica sin condenas.
Hoy me vuelvo a enamorar,
Totalmente y por El
Si la primera vez la cagué,
Esta vez la reconstruiré.

SatNam.
LoveAlways
x
333

Note to Self: EQUALITY (finding the G point)

Not all human beings are born to procreate. Some of us are born to express love differently than making copies of ourselves. We are here to break the chain, creating new ones, new trends that will empower us in different ways than the ones already pre-ordained. 

Even the most beautiful species can become harmful if they numbers can't balance between the offer and demand in nature. Too much beauty can become ugly, too much light can blind you, and too much life can kill you.
Things are the way they are for a reason, and that reason benefits all in equal parts.
Gender, transgender or no gender; gay, straight, or bisexual; catholic, Muslim, hindu, jew, are simply labels created to understand who we truly are. But as we become aware of more sides of our story, greater abilities in body and mind, or different possibilities to relate to each other, we will need to adjust the terminology that describe us. In the knowledge that that terminology could never truly describe who we are, for that will mean that we have nothing more to discover, nothing else would surprise us about ourselves, and in my opinion, that's when we start to decline as intelligent Beings. Thankfully, that is also the moment when new trends, different versions of our DNA spark out of nowhere to give birth to a new generation.

When we become aware of the extended vision, the big picture of life, we can see the difference. It doesn't matter if you see it or not, but seeing presents the opportunity to integrate and form part of the transformation that is happening in all of us today. 

Focusing on the limitation, the labels surrounding the subject only creates only pain and suffering, for yourself and others equally.
We have a choice, either we choose to accept God in all or we finally succumb to the realization that we can't see God at all.
False prophets were announced before time began, and it is an essential part of our process of Rebirth and Evolution.
If you can't see yourself differently, you will only stagnate and if you don't expand, you will contract. 

This is not a judgment, this is a fact.

God bless,
LoveAlways
x
333
❤️

Election Day - Ditching the Dissident Story

Once again life events synchronise. Today were held the general elections in the UK; Tories vs Conservatives and so on.
In my life I came to the election between fighting battles alone or joining in peace the rest of society accepting it for all that it is, with its rights and wrongs, goods and bads.

We live between two extreme realities that that we think confront each other in the hope to find The Truth; mainly between faith and reason, and for many years I thought the issue was to choose one or the other, only to realise at the end how everything is right and everything is wrong. Nothing is what it seems and everything is possible. However, there's an election that needs to be made and that is under the responsibility of who we choose to be and how are we making things happen.

The paradox of life taught me that although we can achieve certain levels of enlightenment, it is only by embracing our darkness that we can begin to love the process fully and ourselves. Transforming our realities and the lives of those around us in magical ways. 

We need to be aware that by fixing our mind to any end result regardless of how true it may be or right in our mind may seem, we are only causing more pain; which is exactly what we've been trying to avoid all this time. 

Who cares what's good or bad, if what really matters is how happy, healthy and holy we feel and with it, how much love we feel and can offer in return.

I have lived the life of a hermit for 8 years, searching for my own light in a city that never sleeps. Where many fake realities spark like musical shows seducing the senses like mairmaids; giving away the pollen of illusion and confusion. 

Nothing is real and nothing is not real, the only truth in all this is our own, the one that hits the right note deep within our hearts and which resonates in harmony with what our mind believes to be right.

This is the greatest challenge, to choose exactly who we intend to govern our lives, and I'm not talking about politicians, I'm talking about the presence within. The identity of our soul who knows the power of the mind and body that holds it in this world and dimension and that recognise the need to integrate and work together as a team and not as competitors.

We are here to serve our own purpose, which serves the purpose of each and everyone else to. 

We can't continue denying the existence of truths regardless of how much we want them to be different or how hard we worked in proving them wrong, for at the end only love is the only truth that exists, the rest are only dreams. 

Good night my love,

LoveAlways

X

333

Finding my food

I have to agree that life works in some very strange and mysterious ways, and most of the time I understand shit. Although, I think sometimes all makes perfect sense. 

Today's story begins with the idea that once we get rid of a lot of the bullshit we held inside, and in the process of becoming a greater version of ourselves we suddenly forget the old version and we begin to create from scratch the new identity that will become our new personality. 

In this very strange process I found myself kind of lost, exploring new dimensions of myself that will take over my life. One of the situations that magically aroused in the last couple of months was the fact that I didn't like the food I used to like, and although I could still enjoy many things, sweet things, breads, even meat; the feeling related to "the old" like not fresh anymore. The tastes felt expired and not at all satisfying but still holding the reminiscence of a past that not longer excites my palate, making my tounge kind of cringe. 

And you'd say, oh well we are changing and we just need to adjust to a healthier self, lighter and way more organic; however, this time wasn't that conscious or elevated, I mean with this that I didn't fancy salads or vegetables either. I began to know that I needed to eat and tried to eat whatever I thought would be what I needed in a form that I could fancy. But didn't feel delicious. 

So I'm right now, finding my new foods, something I fancy cooking and eating, knowing that it's the best option for me in the lifestyle I've chosen to live. So far I'm trying rice and beans. But this I s just a test. 

WTF

Today is March the 1st and there's a beautiful day outside my window. The weather is so kind that alows me to keep the flow of light and air open, but I feel so angry and sad I can't fully enjoy all this light.
I've been dealing with what could be my deepest health issue. a diarrea that makes me feel insecure and frighten. It reminds me of my childhoold when my stepfather used to beat us up, and we were waiting in one bedroom hoping that he would no get up from bed or forget that we even exist in order to avoid more pain.
I remember how thin I was in those days when I used to throw up everything I could managed to eat. I could feel in my stomach like a thousand springs activated by fear and insecurity waiting for some food to come in to immediatly push it out.

That's how I feel right now, as if my inner child were so scared that things could go wrong. I connect emotionally so much with that little kid right now. I wish I could hold him very close to me and make him feel my love.
I feel very melancolic, not lonely but sad. The normal sadness that has been my faithful companion all my life. A certain sadness of exitence. Sometimes I feel there's no need for people like me in this world and we just come to as a part of a requirement or god's pleasure. Like going to school when we are children, no body ask us what do we feel or if it is an enviroment that we like or enjoy. No, we are just supposed to get on with it and make the best of it.
I never liked school, I didn't like any part of it, not the structure, the lessons, or the people. I always wished to be left alone. I knew nobody could understand my feelings and I would need to put a mask if I wanted to make them feel good.

Bringing the house down

I'm reaching the end of my stay in Mexico, a time of remembrance and transformation. I totally feel as if the cycle that started 3 years ago, came to an end.

With this many challenges arose, I saw myself dealing with similar situations as in 2012. I couldn't stop caughing and many times we didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I hold the light and therefore I did not seek for a light outside, I began to feel the transformation from deep within myself. Grounded, firmed, and secure; every step felt to bring me closer to my own realisation, health and clarity.

Last night I dreamt about a very tall building collapsing. This building was reenforced and was in the middle of the financial area. I was with a black girl, a fiend and somehow we were caring for a baby. This girl was making my life a bit difficult, kind of being seducive but tough, yes a bit like tough love. She left me alone for a moment while she went inside another building. I stayed back and began to observe the view. That's when I saw the very reenforced building, probably the tallest and oldest building. When out of nowhere began to collapsed.