It was a sunny day in Greater London during the autumnal equinox of 2014. Mary was just coming back home from her early combat class. She loves training and feeling a strong body makes her life full of joy. Life that she would have to defend and love dearly if she wanted to survive one more night. Although by the time she left her class she had no idea of the challenge ahead.
- Her mobile sounds the ringtone of a voice call -
-Claire, is that you?
-No dumbass, it's me Mary. Wrong number. Are you high or what?
-I took an overdose of pills, antidepressants and the anxiety ones.
-Why?
-I'm too tired?
-Tired of what girl?
-The struggle. I just can't....
With a silent sigh Carmen left the conversation and Mary rushed to her friend. Not knowing what to expect she expected nothing. She was only grateful to be able to be there for her sister.
-Dear, you need to look at yourself. It's not possible that you keep destroying yourself so horribly. You abuse yourself as much as you allow others to abuse you and you still wonder why it's such a struggle to survive.
-You don't understand Mary, let me tell you. I've done the best I can, I just don't know what else to do.
-Ok, I get that. Mmmm, Let me show you what I've done to come out from where you are. Remember girlfriend, we met in the same darkness, we were covered with the same mud. So I know how it feels. But let me give you a reading, I brought my cards. Ok?
Carmen comes from the order of the Carmelites, nuns of deep devotion and selfless service. Even though she got kicked out early on the days when the flesh was young and the feelings tender, she still had the structured spirituality of an orthodox theologian who thinks spirit is hierarchy and love is gold. However always curious and always willing to bend the rules in order to satisfy that curiosity.
Mary, comes from the woods. Free and wild, without rules or laws.
Mary, comes from the woods. Free and wild, without rules or laws.
-Girl, listen. It says here you need to find the key to transcend your current limitation. This shit is killing you and it won't get any better. You need to learn your lesson or you will die, and let me tell you guuuurl, I've known this for a very long time and I never said anything for respect to your choices but now the cards are telling you the same thing and you ought to listen, man.
-What? what is it? What's the key?
-Trust. You need to learn to trust your intuition, find your true faith and your connection with your soul. Not by understanding somebody else's dogma but by creating your own. Is that clear?
With a childish bubbling, Carmen's began to talk but her words began to burst before they could make any sense. She just wanted to feel right, in control and since she has always known best, this was something she could controll with skills. Or so she thought.
-Listen Woman! Let me talk. You are dying and unless we change something deep within your psyche right away your struggle it's gonna get only more intense. You already tried therapy, they gave you all those pills. Do you want to loose everything else, your home, your freedom?
-What are you saying bitch?
-I'm saying you are in danger of drowning and I'm throwing you a lifeline. Listen, I want us to try something different. I propose a game. 3 minutes in silence, looking into each other's eyes. Let us share the place without secrets. Let us reveal each other's sacred archives, with the files that hold our records, in order to know who we truly are and how best to use our abilities and strengths, for our highest benefit and the highest benefit of all.
-I'm saying you are in danger of drowning and I'm throwing you a lifeline. Listen, I want us to try something different. I propose a game. 3 minutes in silence, looking into each other's eyes. Let us share the place without secrets. Let us reveal each other's sacred archives, with the files that hold our records, in order to know who we truly are and how best to use our abilities and strengths, for our highest benefit and the highest benefit of all.
-Shut up! That's witchcraft. You are possessed by evil. You think you're god and can play with fire, but you're nothing, I know who you are and you're not better than me. I've got two master degrees, I know a lot better than following some stupid mambo-jambo. You're not going to tempt me into your trap.
-I'm not asking to follow ME, I'm asking you to follow your intuition and feel the possibility for a transformation within you that could manifest and benefit your life and the life of everything that surrounds you. I'm asking you to feel real, powerful and authentic.
-NO
-Why not?
-No, No, No. Simply NO
-Ok, as you wish. But tell me what are you feeling right now? Are you aware of the synchronicities? Do you hear the music in the background talking to you? Do you see the messages from within your head? Are you afraid?
...And with that final question Mary closed her reading. A demon had been unleashed and it feared for her life. Carmen showed no weakness, her pride made her stand strong facing the enemy, in this case, the enemy was the possibility of realising a different approach to spirituality, where enlightenment is real and magic truth.
-"I will not let you win this time." Carmen thought to herself. "You already have everything I want, and I won't let you have the only thing that keeps me alive. My beliefs are mine."
She began to convulse, talking to her self as if fighting internally with another entity. Mary only observed the situation and let it developed in front of her. No Judgement, NO FEAR.
That realisation startled Mary, she was experiencing for the first time in her life the full meaning of Trust. Her faith had been reenforced to the point of steel. She, herself was transitioning too in that precise moment. Feeling the danger of Carmen's mind, and still be able to hold her space and her own mind. Mary found her Christ Consciousness that moon-less night, dark and dangerous. She indeed managed to access her sacred secrets and made them known to herself. She felt safe and secured, regardless of Carmen's intent to frighten the shit out of her. She found peace, and from the centre of the hurricane she saw her sister being carried away.
That nigh they shared the same bed. Like little sisters telling each other stories before falling asleep. Carmen telling horror tales, Mary listening with care.
Thus is the story of colours, some are bright and shiny, others dark and mate. All in truth serve the rainbow, all in awe create one truth. One reality experienced in two very different ways.
And so it is.
LoveAlways x 333
